Posts tagged life

Wow. See that fence in the background? It’s wrapped around an empty lot. An empty lot that used to be the first job I ever had, working in a cheap run-down old movie theater. I won’t name the chain, but it started with an ‘E’ and happens to be the name of a certain Twilight hunk. a-hem The place was really old and run down, but the worst part was the roaches. We had to clean the bathroom every few hours (or at least pretend to), and I would cringe every time I went in there and heard the little scurrying sound of lots of little cockroach feet. Bleah. (I think this at least partially explains why I’m such a theater-snob for the Arclight now.) Plus, the manager was a total dick. I remember some rather vast lady coming up to the concession stand to buy popcorn and making a fuss about what kind of oil we used and if it was heart healthy or not because she had a heart condition, blah-blah. (Lady, do you really need a 16-year-old to tell you that you just shouldn’t be eating cheap, gross movie theater popcorn — ever??) The manager just lied through his teeth, waxing on about how they used the “best oil for your heart” or some equivalent bull$hit. I was totally freaking out for the next two hours that said lady was going to have a coronary right then and there in our dingy theater and stuck thinking what a horrid way that would be to die. Anyhow, it’s gone now. Too bad the roaches are homeless now, but I really don’t have any good memories of the rat-trap, other than it getting me out of the house at the time. ;-)

Wow. See that fence in the background? It’s wrapped around an empty lot. An empty lot that used to be the first job I ever had, working in a cheap run-down old movie theater.

I won’t name the chain, but it started with an ‘E’ and happens to be the name of a certain Twilight hunk. a-hem The place was really old and run down, but the worst part was the roaches. We had to clean the bathroom every few hours (or at least pretend to), and I would cringe every time I went in there and heard the little scurrying sound of lots of little cockroach feet. Bleah. (I think this at least partially explains why I’m such a theater-snob for the Arclight now.)

Plus, the manager was a total dick. I remember some rather vast lady coming up to the concession stand to buy popcorn and making a fuss about what kind of oil we used and if it was heart healthy or not because she had a heart condition, blah-blah. (Lady, do you really need a 16-year-old to tell you that you just shouldn’t be eating cheap, gross movie theater popcorn — ever??) The manager just lied through his teeth, waxing on about how they used the “best oil for your heart” or some equivalent bull$hit. I was totally freaking out for the next two hours that said lady was going to have a coronary right then and there in our dingy theater and stuck thinking what a horrid way that would be to die.

Anyhow, it’s gone now. Too bad the roaches are homeless now, but I really don’t have any good memories of the rat-trap, other than it getting me out of the house at the time. ;-)

Last night I had yet another mini-breakdown. And again this morning. And again this afternoon. Each time, I stumble along through this cycle of frustration, anger, blind rage, depression then sheer exhaustion. So fast that by the time I’m at work, or doing stuff at home, I don’t even remember what set it off because there are just too many things that snowballed together to make the whole thing happen. But the general idea is that I’m overwhelmed with juggling home, work, spouse & child: the classic working-mother conundrum. I’ve considered backing off work, but the sad fact is that I just can’t do it. We have our own business, of sorts, and there just isn’t anyone available to fill the strange little hole that is my job. The spouse-unit and I have talked about hiring a friend as a housekeeper to help get the place organized, be home to get estimates from contractors, and other general household duties, but she’s been flakier than a Pillsbury pie crust. I’m down to scheduling things into the calendar like “6-7pm: Evening walk” and, worse still, a daily repeating task of “Make coffee, sit and breathe for 5 min.” Sadly, the only days I get to sit over my morning coffee for five minutes are the days where I remember to even check my calendar and to-do list before running out of the house, I kid you not. And the last time we went to our marriage counselor for our quarterly “tune-up”, our topic of business for the session was how get through the next six months of work insanity and still be married at the end of it. Ironically, the best suggestion was to be sure and schedule in time for us to do “couple time” and “family things”. Grr, and double-grr. I wish I had answers. I wish YOU had answers for me. :-) In the meantime, I’m scheduling me-time for catching up on blog reading & writing, while the spouse-unit kills off brain cells blows away enemies in Call of Duty 2. Then we’ll each crawl into bed, wake up tomorrow and do it all over again: the fights and crying and work and playing with Spice and cleaning up cat puke and making cookies and doing dishes and picking cat hair off my black clothes and kicking the washer and… you get the idea… all over again. Suckh is life, no? ;-)

Last night I had yet another mini-breakdown. And again this morning. And again this afternoon.

Each time, I stumble along through this cycle of frustration, anger, blind rage, depression then sheer exhaustion. So fast that by the time I’m at work, or doing stuff at home, I don’t even remember what set it off because there are just too many things that snowballed together to make the whole thing happen. But the general idea is that I’m overwhelmed with juggling home, work, spouse & child: the classic working-mother conundrum.

I’ve considered backing off work, but the sad fact is that I just can’t do it. We have our own business, of sorts, and there just isn’t anyone available to fill the strange little hole that is my job. The spouse-unit and I have talked about hiring a friend as a housekeeper to help get the place organized, be home to get estimates from contractors, and other general household duties, but she’s been flakier than a Pillsbury pie crust. I’m down to scheduling things into the calendar like “6-7pm: Evening walk” and, worse still, a daily repeating task of “Make coffee, sit and breathe for 5 min.” Sadly, the only days I get to sit over my morning coffee for five minutes are the days where I remember to even check my calendar and to-do list before running out of the house, I kid you not.

And the last time we went to our marriage counselor for our quarterly “tune-up”, our topic of business for the session was how get through the next six months of work insanity and still be married at the end of it. Ironically, the best suggestion was to be sure and schedule in time for us to do “couple time” and “family things”.

Grr, and double-grr.

I wish I had answers. I wish YOU had answers for me. :-) In the meantime, I’m scheduling me-time for catching up on blog reading & writing, while the spouse-unit kills off brain cells blows away enemies in Call of Duty 2. Then we’ll each crawl into bed, wake up tomorrow and do it all over again: the fights and crying and work and playing with Spice and cleaning up cat puke and making cookies and doing dishes and picking cat hair off my black clothes and kicking the washer and… you get the idea… all over again.

Suckh is life, no? ;-)